What Does it Look Like When You Senior Is Pushing You Away?
There may be times when all you want to do is to help your senior, but you feel as if she’s deliberately making that difficult for you to do. You might not be imagining that. Here’s how you might be able to start understanding what’s happening so you and your senior can talk and find solutions.
She’s Pushing Herself Harder than She Should
Part of helping your senior means that you’re making life a little easier for her. You’re literally helping her to take it easier. That can matter a lot when it comes to her being able to do what she needs and wants to do on her own. This becomes a problem when your elderly family member pushes herself to keep doing things, even if you’re there to offer a hand. She can easily wear herself out and that can leave her strapped for energy when she needs it most.
She’s Arguing with You
You might also be noticing that your senior argues with you a little more often than she might have in the past. That can be a way to push you away or to keep you from noticing when she could really use some extra help. While these arguments could be valid on some levels, they may also be serving as a distraction.
She’s Withholding Information from You
Are you getting all of the information that you need to help your senior as thoroughly as possible? You might not if your elderly family member is holding back some of it. She may not call you when you’ve asked her to let you know she’s ready to tackle a specific project, for example. Or she may not let you know that she’s having trouble seeing well lately. The information might be large or small. What matters is that you can’t make decisions with limited information.
She’s Making it Impossible for You to Help Constructively
Your elderly family member might also be actively doing other things that prevent you from helping her fully or effectively. This can be frustrating for you and might even cause you to give up, which might be part of her goal. Explain to your senior how this hinders your ability to help her.
If the big problem is that the help is coming from you, it might be time to see if your elderly family member is more open to the idea of having help from senior care providers. They may be able to offer her regular help with far less resistance.